Monday, May 31, 2010

Love



Love is a very powerful emotion. It is the best experience you can have with another person. A lot are not so lucky to experience this and I feel loathsome about it. I on the other hand is very lucky to experience this. Matter of fact. I am literally the luckiest person to experience this because the person I am experiencing this with is my guardian angel. She has saved me from the world and from myself. She is everything to me, she is my life, my world, my everything. I would not think twice about risking my life for her in order for her to live a great one.

I believe she is my soul mate, I know she is my soul mate. The first time I laid my eyes upon her stunning face I knew that this girl was a very very very special girl. I knew that we would last forever. How do I know? I don't, the human body is very strange and when you know you just know. I now know there is "Love at first sight" I would imagine that most of you would not believe that but when you see someone and you know that is the one, then you will believe it.

She is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Literaly, she has turned all the negative feelings into possitive ones. She has turned the ugly into the beauty, she has turned the dark into the light. There are no words to describe the feeling I get when I wake up to her beautiful face laying next to mine. It's one of the greatest experience you could ever go through. Seeing her face every morning tells me it's going to be a great day. There is no words that I can describe the feeling I get knowing that we are together forever.

I know she is the love of my life, I know she is my soul mate. How do I know this? I'll tell you. We balance each other out and I love that, when we have a argument we always still tell each other we love each other and we kiss each other even though we are having dissagrements. I believe that is true love, if you can show your partner you still love them in a argument then that is true love I say.

We have been having this issue for a while now. You might have heard of it, its called "Trust" and this is a big issue for both of my love one and I. She trusts me and I feel amazing that she does. I know she loves me and I know she knows I would never do anything to hurt her and I am proud to say she trusts me. I on the other hand have not been so giving so much on the trusts. First, let me say that she diserves my trust 110% and she has done nothing to not earn my trust. To be honest, I really don't have a reason or a excuse. I have a very small percentage stoping me but that is just about 2% out of that 110. It is long gone and I am over it, and it was understandable. I think the reason that I don't give her my trust is because I am afraid to lose her. I am afraid she is going to meet someone better. I know she loves me and I honestly believe she would never do that to me, but it is just a crazy thought. I believe thats what it is from giving her my trust. Am I 100% sure? no, but I'm pretty sure. Like I said she diserves all my trust and I feel terrible knowing that I have not given it to her. It hurts her, It hurts me! So, from this day foward I need to put down my guard, put down my security blanket and give her all the trust that Is in me. She diserves it, she has done nothing to betray it. I know it's going to be a very long hard road but I have to do it to keep this relationship alive.

I would do anything for my loved one and she has made my life heaven. I love her very much and would take a bullet for her. I would not think twice about risking my life in order for her to live hers. She is my world and I am going to love her day in and day out every second of my life.

I feel terrible because today was supposed to be our day together. She told me the other day that monday was going to be our special day. Meaning spending real time with each other. That meant a lot, it acutally meant the world to me. Because of my trust issues and not giving her the trust she diserves we got into a argument and it ruined our special day. I feel like the scum of the earth knowing I ruined our day. This day was going to mean a lot to me and I ruined it. I can't tell you how many tears I have shed. I feel terrible and would like to work everything out with her when I see her. When she smiles I smile, when shes happy I'm happy. I love when she smiles it's one of the most beautiful sights you could ever witness. I love her and I'm very excited for our future.

To the love one I have been talking about

- I am sorry for everything, the trust issues and everything. I never knew the trust issue hurt you that much. I feel like the scum of the earth knowing I ruined our day and made a argument. I love you to death and I know we can work it out because we are two strong people and can get through anything with each other. I'm always going to be beside you holding your hand facing your problems with you. I am always here for you no matter what and will always love you. I know we can work this out like everything else have passed us. I love you and I am very deeply sorry from my heart. You have all my trust now I promise. You have done nothing to betray it and you diserve all of it. I miss you terribly and I hope to see you soon.


2 comments:

  1. Babe, that is so sweet[:
    I love you

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I am living with my dad and trying to get my life in order."

    Start getting your life in order from stopping your rip-off business. Does your girlfriend know about it? Does she know there are people out there ready to beat you to little pieces for what you have done?

    ReplyDelete